I first spoke with Taz a couple of months ago. I was wondering how he would come across this time — if his personality would be the same and the topics we discuss similar. Taz presents himself to me as calm, even-toned, understated, and gentle with a slight edge of anxiety or nervousness at not knowing what to expect from any particular situation. As I speak with him, his eyes scan the area behind and around me to make sure there are no surprises. I feel some kind of restriction in him that doesn't allow him to just let loose and be completely at peace. It's like a layer of tenseness and it really does just feel like a layer that was added to his personality in this life, but that can be removed — and this is possibly one of his challenges and goals in this life (to remove it). I identify strongly with this and tell him. "Taz, I used to be very shy and quiet as a child. Yet I had a strong desire to be seen as individual, my own person. Those two things don't work well together! The shyness doesn't allow you to express yourself comfortably among others and so it's difficult to show your true colors and uniqueness. It feels like you are experiencing something similar?" He nods up and down affirmatively, like "You get it!" I continued tapping into his personality, which further supported the above. He's loyal, a good friend, and someone you can count on. He nods his head at this, affirming this is a strong part of his identity. He's very independent, doesn't mind being by himself, and has a strong sense of self — of wanting to be seen for who he is rather than simply as one of the herd. When I go to run my hand down his back, he jumps at the contact until he sees what that was and that it's not going to harm him, and he settles down. As I connect with him, his front left leg begins to wobble quite a lot. He says he doesn't know what it is. It's something new and he doesn't know how to fix it. "It will probably just go away," he tells me. I thought I would imagine him coming to live with my family to try to discover what he needs or prefers. As soon as a presented this to him, even though I said it was like a game, he insisted that he didn't want to do that. "I'm not going anywhere. I live here and I'm staying here," he tells me firmly. "I wasn't suggesting that it was actually going to happen, Taz, just pretending," I explained. "It's going to have to be something different. I like it here," he maintained. "Okay, how about if I were coming to visit you for a few days and wanted to help out around here. I would need to check in with you to see what you needed. Would that work?" He was wary about this scenario, too. I could see his thought process… "Why would this happen? Where are my people going? I like my routines." I sat with him, trying to just be calmness, send calmness. "Don't worry about those things, Taz. Your people aren't going anywhere and everything is staying the same. How about if you just tell me some of the things you like?" I see him munching hay. I see him in a field just hanging out serenely with another horse. He has a strong connection with his guardian "mom" and feels more at peace when she's with him. He's curious and likes to explore at his own pace. So if there's something going on where he lives, he will be drawn to the activity to check it out. I ran through various scenarios in my head to see which of them he seemed to react to or enjoy. He seems to enjoy getting washed and groomed. He also seemed interested in eating radishes. I'm not sure if that's something horses can have or if he's ever had them and is just curious. He likes basking in the gentle mid-morning sun. He also likes watching all the activity and coming and goings where he lives. He often just wants to take part in it all, to get in there and do things to help. I tried to balance my connection with him so that he wouldn't feel overwhelmed, simply observing and writing part of the time and then talking with him part of the time. So at this point, as I was wrapping things up, Taz commented about my observations, "You got it mostly all right." "Which part isn't right?" I wondered to him. "Well, that 'layer' thing," he said, trying to describe what I had been commenting about. "About the layer of tenseness I felt in you?" I asked. "Yes. I don't like that," he said flatly. Then clarified, "I don't like having that." "You're saying that although it's true, you don't don't like that in yourself?" I confirmed. He nodded positively up and down. "Yes. And some day I won't have it." "Is that because you're working on it?" I asked. "I just know I won't always have to deal with it," he said. It was a knowing in him, but he wasn't sure where it was coming from. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. I hope that day comes soon and you can feel more at ease." Taz thought about this and was pleased with the notion. "Thank you for talking with me, Taz. I had a fun visit." He watched curiously as I walked away and nodded his head one more time. Feedback from his person:You were very much in touch with the gentle, yet conflicted, side of Taz and his high levels of anxiety when not fully understanding a situation or request made from a human. The first paragraph sums up Taz completely. The second paragraph about his independence and happy to be in his own company away from the rest of the herd is spot on. I am not sure about the left leg wobble, but he does have a very small sarcoid at the top of his left front leg that I have been treating. Taz prefers to hang out with one of the 2 mares he lives with, she is a little more nurturing and receptive compare to the other mare. Yes he is very curious and wants to be involved in anything that’s happening, I haven't tried radishes with him so that would be interesting to try. The training we do is entirely focused on trying to relieve his anxieties and to help him understand and build resilience for everyday basic handling, and huge progress has been made from where we started from.
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AuthorMy name is Josh and I'm a learning animal communicator, hoping that sharing my journey will help others. Categories
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February 2020
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