I often will start a conversation right away, but this time felt compelled to just observe and record my initial impressions. I think this was to give Aris some time to get used to me. Aris feels very gentle and good-natured. He wouldn't hurt a fly! He also feels nervous and uncomfortable. He likes to be in situations that are familiar to him so he knows what to expect. Sudden movements or noises get his heart racing. He likes one-on-one time with his person because it is calm and predictable. It feels like, because of his size and shape, it may be difficult to react quickly, as a cat would. So he tends to stay clear of lots of activity so he doesn't have to be so wary of what's going on around him. He does seem to really enjoy the outdoors where things feel freer, more open. He enjoys his food and also enjoys how the cat food smells and often is drawn to it, but the cat(s) can be very territorial about their food and he is afraid of their reaction, so stays away. I keep getting the feeling that Aris has some low self-esteem issues. It kind of feels like he is the little brother of domineering sisters (in this case, cats). That doesn't mean he doesn't get along with them. He has a special relationship with one of them, though it doesn't necessarily mean he will defend Aris if necessary. Aris now felt pretty comfortable with me there, so I thought I'd try a conversation. I was trying to decide how best to start the conversation… introduce myself, ask how he is, ask what he thought of my first impressions… But as I looked at him sitting in front of me, he just said, "I'm sorry." He felt my immediate wonder at this and before I could reply, he continued, "I'm not the best conversationalist. I don't have any good stories for you. And I don't have any entertaining things to say." I replied, "You don't have to entertain me or be anyone other than who you are. I didn't feel like I wanted to talk with you because I thought you would be an amusing subject, but because I appreciated who you are. I could feel your gentleness and I love that about you." This didn't seem to do much for his self-esteem, so I wondered if talking with him in a different environment might help and asked if he wanted to go for a walk instead. He immediately said, "What about mom? I can't go without mom." "I just thought since we are just doing this virtually it might feel different. We aren't physically going for a walk, just in our minds," I explained. He wasn't interested in moving from the room. "Whatever is best for you is fine with me," I told him. "What would you like to talk about?" He just sat there silently. I kept feeling some anxiety and low confidence from him. But I wasn't sure if my mind had just latched onto that idea at some point and kept going with it. If so, I didn't want to make this whole conversation about that kind of stuff. I preferred to focus on the positives if possible. I wondered where these feelings of his may have begun. I saw him as a puppy much more animated and happy and care-free. He played with a ball and had a big smile as puppies do. As I wondered what happened to change all that, I kept feeling something about the cats. Almost as their numbers grew around the house, he shrunk further into himself. I decided to try a second conversation the next day, to see if I could get more clarity.
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AuthorMy name is Josh and I'm a learning animal communicator, hoping that sharing my journey will help others. Categories
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February 2020
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