Yesterday, I spoke with Teddy to see what he thought of his brother and their relationship. Today, I'm speaking with his brother, Lenny, to get his perspective. Like his brother, Lenny feels very focused on whatever is happening at the moment. But he actually feels more reactive than Teddy, quicker to bark or "get into the fray." He also feels a little harder to reach when he is in that mode, meaning he is so focused that it's difficult to bring him back to reality. I don't feel any animosity between the two dogs. Like Teddy, Lenny feels a synergy and affinity with his brother. They both seem to feed on each other's energy and reactiveness, so if one suddenly starts barking and running after something or reacting to an event (real or perceived), the other one will immediately get involved, whether he knows any of the details about it or not. Whereas Teddy feels a little more grounded, Lenny is more fluid (scattered?) and shows affection easier. But his focused attention feels short-lived. Whereas Teddy has exceptional focus and staying power (he locks in), Lenny may do the same initially, but is easily distracted and can switch to the next thing to focus on… and the next and the next, on a whim. "Hi Lenny," I greeted. "I visited with your brother yesterday. I thought I'd hang out with you today. How does that sound?" Instead of an actual reply, I got a stream of "almost replies" that were very excited. It was like he had the emotion of excitement and it was coming out in too many ways at once for him to coherently put into words. So it came out as a jumble of "All right! - That's great! Yes! This is exciting! A visitor! It's my turn!" Except I only got the first part of each of those exclamations and just was able to intuit the rest. "Why is that so exciting, Lenny?" I asked. "I love when there are things happening," he replied. "I love to be involved." "Do you get involved with all those things along with your brother?" "We do most things together, but I'm usually first to the scene." "Does your enthusiasm for 'getting involved' go over okay with your people?" I wondered. This question seemed to stop him cold and I could hear him think, "How does he know about that?" He tiptoed into the next comment, "Well…they love us." He was trying to skirt the subject, then decided to admit, "We can get a little excited… too excited sometimes. But it's because we love exploring things!" It felt like it wasn't just that they wanted to explore things. It was that they wanted to explore every thing. Every sound. Every movement. Every wisp of the wind. "Isn't that great?" he said of my conclusion. He was genuinely thinking it was all positive for everyone involved. It wasn't my place to judge their behavior, so I let it go – with an amused smile. "It sounds like you get along with your brother pretty well," I said. "We do!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. Then added, "He's not my born brother, but he's my brother and best friend." "Oh, that's so nice!" I told him. "We would do anything for each other," he continued. "We're…" and again I got a rush of jumbled words, descriptors, phrases that seemed to get tangled up because his excited mind was flooded with emotion. It was a mix of "blood brothers, partners in crime, and pals forever." "That's very special that you have such a relationship," I said. "How did you arrange to be together in this life?" I wondered. "He was here when I got here!" he said in an astonished way, like it was a miracle. The feeling I had gotten from Teddy, that Lenny is like a slight irritation to him sometimes when Teddy just wants to focus on something, also showed up on Lenny's side. Except, it was Lenny who knew in the back of his mind that he could be a little irritating to Teddy because he can be too enthusiastic and bring too much distraction energy to the party. But he tried to push this thought away. There was a little brother-big brother vibe going on. "What do you like most about your brother?" I asked. "He's fun," he said instantly, but it felt like he wanted him to be more fun than what he is, so this was a little bit of a wishful thought. I waited for him to expand on his answer and he continued, "I like how he is always in control. He's a leader. That's why he's a big brother." "Those do sound like qualities you'd want in a big brother," I agreed. "And what do you bring to his life that he might appreciate?" I asked. "Craaaaazy," he answered. "More fun, helping him let loose." "And does he like that?" I asked. "He may not know that he likes it, but it's what's best for him," said Lenny. "Okay, well, it seems to be working for you," I said. "I'm glad we got to talk and that you shared your side of things. Now I have a balanced picture and the conclusion is it sounds like you have a very nice and happy life together." He was happy to hear this and also to know we were done talking, as it seemed like he needed to find out where Teddy was and what he was doing so he wouldn't miss out on anything. He was off running before even saying goodbye! Feedback:Lenny can be very focused on what is happening but it is generally short lived as something else takes his attention. Lenny will always be the one to react first mainly barking (a lot) and it is often difficult to bring his attention back. Once he starts then Teddy will join in and both will be involved in the event, as you say whether real or not, and do feed off one another’s energy Teddy is definitely more grounded and to others yes Lenny will show affection more easily than Teddy. Lenny is definitely easily distracted and his focus switches very easily. Again your description of Lenny talking to you and loads of sentences coming out at one time is just so him. I always imagine him talking with a real Essex accent, talking really quickly and getting as much information out in a real excitable manner whereas Teddy I imagine talking in a posh, slow methodical way and raising his eyebrows occasionally when listening to Lenny as if to see “oh for goodness sake he’s off again”. Lenny does love to be involved in everything and he needs to be close to see what is happening, if he can’t see you he will often demand attention by barking. They do most things together but as you picked up it is always Lenny first there, and I can imagine him skirting a comment he was unsure of how to answer. He is very excited – all the time – which is lovely but can occasionally be a little full on. They definitely get on and yes they are not born brothers but are “brothers and best friends”. I have often in the past referred to them as “partners in crime and best friends forever. Teddy was here for around 16 months before Lenny joined the family and they’ve been friends ever since. Teddy is always in control and definitely leads the relationship but I can see that sometimes Lenny just wants to run riot and act crazy together and Teddy isn’t up for that. As you found his focus is always on what is next so apologies he never said goodbye this time. xx
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