Dustin is an alpaca who has some trouble with his people trimming his hooves. Basically, he hates it and won't allow it. So that was one of the topics they wanted to explore. As I tuned into Dustin and he "saw" me, I heard him almost mumble, "Oh no, not this again." And then my view of him became kind of like a movie camera angle, where it swung quickly along each side of Dustin (with a pause before moving to the next side), about 20 feet out from him, until I saw all four sides. It felt like he was saying, "Before we begin this tour, here are some boundaries you need to respect…" I looked at him after he finished his "guidelines" and wondered if that's really what he meant — that he really didn't want anyone coming too close to him. In answer, Dustin said, "What? I'm allowed to have preferences. We are talking about my body here." "I'm not questioning your preferences, Dustin, just was wondering if I was seeing and hearing things correctly," I answered. "You got it. It was the premium tour. Not a lot of frills, but you are treated to the best parts." Now Dustin's playful side was coming out. He wanted me to know that's he's not some stodgy ogre with a stick up his rear (his words), even though it can seem that way sometimes. "You're saying you like to have a little fun?" I asked. I seem to remember a note on his page about showing him what fun is like, so seeing him have fun with his conversation seemed to go against his observed personality. "Contrary to popular belief, actions and words can be quite different," said Dustin. "On the outside, I may be very serious and my actions more stiff and stilted. But my mind is much more supple and free-flowing." "I think I know exactly what you are talking about, Dustin. When I was young, I was very shy. It was difficult for me to let loose around people and in social situations. But I was different when I was in my comfort zone. Is that what you experience?" I asked. "Yes, that sums it up nicely," he answered. It feels like he prefers observing rather than participating. He would rather watch others do things and keep it all at a distance so he can make sure he is able to control his immediate surroundings. I keep getting a feeling of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) or even some autism, where he needs certain things to be the same all the time, everything in their places. Routines are good for him, but only if they include activities that he has pre-approved. He shakes his head happily side to side and says, "I think we're getting somewhere!" As I began thinking of what was next to ask Dustin from his question list, and realizing it was something about grooming, I could see Dustin realize this, too, and he said slightly exasperated, "Oh no, now that we understand more, do we really need this conversation again?" "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to," I told him. I think understanding his thought process and comfort level around grooming (as alluded to above) was still helpful, though he didn't give insight into how to do necessary grooming in his comfort zone. To this he answered, "There is no grooming like that in my comfort zone. They can't co-exist." "Nevertheless, grooming is still essential to your health and must be done," I reminded him. I tried picturing different "incentives" to doing the grooming to see if any of them would help make the process easier. Treats, distractions, going slowly, being praised, feeling good. None of these seemed enticing to him because the process of grooming felt so invasive to his system that he wasn't able to focus on anything else. He then gave me the picture of him looking a little "out of it" — almost like he was drugged. It felt like he was suggesting that the only way he would feel better about it all is if his system were forced to feel better about it all through some kind of herbal relaxant (CBD?). I also see Reiki and other calming techniques. Then he wouldn't "care" so much about what was necessary to happen. I decided to return to the subject of "fun" and wondered to him what he thought was fun. I see him running, but a bit awkwardly. "You find running fun?" I asked him. "Well, it can be exhilarating," he answered. I just don't think he is wired to be "happy-go-lucky" or enjoy some of the things other think are fun. I showed him some things dogs think are fun… playing fetch, tug-o-war, running happily. To this, he answered, "But I'm not that size and I don't look that way." He seemed very literal, and again it feels like his mind works a little like someone with OCD or autism. "I do enjoy watching the birds fly," he inserted. It felt like he was trying to find something he could add that would make him seem "normal." Watching birds fly seems separate enough from his own reality that he doesn't feel it infringes on his space. He can simply observe without thinking he has to be involved in any way. "I'm pretty sure fun is defined as something you enjoy doing, so you shouldn't feel like there is something wrong with you for not enjoying things others do," I told him. "We are all different and are not meant to be the same. He thought about this and felt a little more relaxed about the topic. I wondered how to get him back to the place where he felt comfortable having more fun with the conversation. Clearly, this subject stressed him a bit. "What's your favorite food, Dustin?" I see a big pumpkin, orange on the inside and greenish on the outside (more of a tastier winter squash than a bland "Halloween" pumpkin). It was broken open so he could eat it. "What's your favorite part of the day?" I asked. I didn't want him to feel bad about not liking things like some other animals do, so I thought I'd focus on the things that are unique to him. I pictured morning, afternoon, and evening for him and he seemed to feel better at midday, when things are more predictable. He suddenly perked up and said, "This is fun!" Finally feeling comfortable enough and being able to answer questions about what he likes is, apparently, an activity he enjoys! So I thought of that game people play that has them present outrageous options to someone and ask them to choose which they would prefer. I wondered if he would enjoy that game. But he came right in as I was trying to gather up some options in my mind and said, "Now that's just getting crazy." He didn't see the point of it, but also couldn't seem to get it out of his mind, so added curiously, "But let's have a go…" "Okay," I started. "Would you rather stand in the rain all day, wear a hat, or get a visit by a group of young school kids?" He seemed horrified by these options. He discarded the school kids immediately. He thought about the hat, but in the end, felt it would make him look ridiculous. So he chose standing in the rain, since it was the closest to a "natural act" as possible. "Here's another," I continued. Would you rather have someone ride you, be able to fly, or eat a fly?" "Can I really fly?" he asked incredulously, like he didn't realize this was a real option in life. "Well, not really," I clarified. "This game is just about options that probably wouldn't or couldn't happen." But there was no question in his mind, the flying option was his choice. He didn't care if it was made-up. That's what he would choose. "Okay, one more, Dustin, then I have to get going," I told him. "Would you rather go swimming, become a pig, or talk like a person?" He thought of each of these options and pretty clearly settled on being able to talk like a person. The main benefit was being able to communicate his preferences to those around him. It felt like Dustin's personality was lighter now. He had enjoyed himself and was able to "get out of his head" for a bit. "Thank you for the visit, Dustin," I told him. "Are you coming back?" he responded eagerly. "Sure, I can come back if you want me to." He just gave me the calm expression of "enjoyment." Without thinking, I reached out to put my hand on his back and he didn't flinch. I quickly retreated so as not to infringe on his space and sent him a questioning picture of me putting my hand there, asking if this is okay. His calm, expression of enjoyment stayed constant, meaning, "yes." Maybe that was a breakthrough? Feedback from his person:He does seem a more complex character than his herd mates, and this is becoming clearer by the communications. He actually does have a large personal space with new people, much less so with those he knows. I can relate to the analogy of a shy person, he can actually be quite fun and playful but he holds back almost, perhaps also because some of his play with the other alpacas is too rough for them and they distance themselves sometimes. His choice of language about the ogre really made me laugh, as the stick reference is something my husband uses in conversation! We don’t groom the ally’s, even if there were a need, alpacas dislike that type of touch…it’s very unnatural to them… so his comment about the groom being incompatible is very accurate. We do have to hoof trim though and this can be where we all struggle. Interesting about the reiki, as I practice this, but the person who does the trimming with me doesn’t. I am thinking my best approach maybe working on Dustin, but also on the energy of my”assistant” 😊, that’s a help, thank you. We have at the moment a number of pumpkins scattered about for the various animals to nibble… I am pleased Dustin likes it 😊 Although there is a slight routine here, I try to work, as much as is reasonably possible, with the flow of the animals. This works for some more than others, midday and pm is generally a routine time when the alpacas move to roam the bigger paddocks, good to know Dustin’s preference. Since Dustin has been having communications, he does appear slightly more bold..and curious, we are due to trim his feet soon, so I am excited to see if his perceptions have shifted. Thank you again for taking the time.
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AuthorMy name is Josh and I'm a learning animal communicator, hoping that sharing my journey will help others. Categories
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February 2020
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